50 Shades of Christmas Gifts

by JoAnne Kenrick

I hope you're not all Christmas gift'd out just yet -- because I've got some beaut ideas you could 'gift' yourself and your other half to open on Christmas Eve, after the children have gone to bed, and the milk and cookies have been devoured.

And with the wonders of the internet, you can order right from your home. It's still early enough to leave plenty of time for delivery, too.

Check out various online retailers, as there are some super awesome sales on right now.

But for the sake of this article, and to share my gift ideas, i'm using Eden Fantasies because it's my favorite place to shop for 'toys' and the such like. I love their point system (earn money to spend while browsing sexy toys, love it!) , and excellent customer service. Heck, you can even grab 50 Shades of Grey books from there if your wife hasn't read them yet. There's also an array of Cleis Press books for a kinky read, or how-to books if you want to learn something new. 

Gift Ideas

Selection boxes make the most excellent gifts, because they often come in beautiful presentations-perfect for gifting-and you often save pennies buying this way. And these are absolutely goreeously presented. And they are Lelo, a toy manufacturer with an excellent reputation for quality and innovation.

Lelo 'Dare Me' set, including Luna beads noir, Sensua suede whip, Etherea silk cuffs, gift card, satin storage pouch. "She'll be begging for release in more ways than one with this kit.  This all-inclusive sensory pleasure kit is geared toward women and couples, particularly those wanting to enhance sexual pleasure and experiment with the lighter side of BDSM fun. $109.99

Lelo 'Pleasure Me' set, including Noa couples' massager, Intima silk blindfold, Tantra feather teaser, gift card, satin storage pouch: "The Indulge Me Pleasure Set is a truly luxurious, classy set for any couple, or it can be given as a gift to a couple or to your partner. The matching amethyst products are absolutely high quality. This set is the most luxurious, romantic night in a box. Everything for a thrilling experience is included." -- Buy here  $162.99

How about some silk ties, a delicate, feminine touch for those BDSM beginners who are looking to try out a bit of kink during the holidays.

Limited Edition Grey Silk Ties: "Those looking to add a little spice to playtime will appreciate these mild, easy to use restraints that fit comfortably and look sexy in the process. The shimmery silver fabric looks a lot less threatening than cuffs made of leather or metal, and the price is right, too." Buy here $15.99

Not too keen on sexual toys, but want to gift your other half something different, well...you're sure to find something new and different here.

Little Bit Naughty Book of Sex Positions: "Do you want to spice up your sex life? Need some inspiration? Flip open The Little Bit Naughty Book of Sex Positions to any page and you will discover an exciting new possibility. Explained in detail and illustrated with tastefully explicit photos, the positions allow you and your partner to achieve maximum pleasure." $11.95

And to get things started, get in the 'mood' for luuuuurve with this lovely gift set.

Leau A Deux luxury set, containing CD of sensual music, bath foam, massage gel, 4 candles, massager: "This is an attractively packaged kit that is sure to produce an erotic result! The scent contains an aphrodisiac essence that smells fantastic! It's a light feminine floral scent that lingers on your skin long after you've left the bath. The candles add an erotic glow while soft jazz music plays in the background followed up with an erotic massage."  $49.99

That set above would go perfectly with a sexy book, if you are looking for a present for your wifey this year ;) The Edge line at www.decadentpublishing.com has a whole array of sexy bites for her to choose from. Wink. Wink.

And of course...there's always a Gift Card for somewhere like Ann Summers (UK) or Adam & Eve (US) etc... Think of the fun you would have, shopping for that 'perfect' toy 'together. And then rushing home to try it out. 

Happy Holidays...and of course, happy reading!

Treacle, Treason, and a Ghostly Tale for 5th November!

Buy Treacle and Treason HERE!

by JoAnne Kenrick 

Bonfire Night is the Brits alternative holiday to Thanksgiving that keep us going through the long winter months. Gives us something to look forward to. There's no turkey or trimmings. But there is family. And lots of fun!

I've fond memories of the local annual Bonfire Display ran by the Fire Department. For a pound, you got to stand in a muddy farmer's field--yes, wellington boots (rain boots) are worn by all--where a temporary fun fair is set up, hot dog stands and candy floss is for sale, and there's toffee apples! Yup, I know. Toffee apples are for Halloween in the States. They kind of are in the UK, too. But mostly, they're for Bonfire Night. In fact, 5th November is all about the treacle toffee! It's hard, it's tasty, and it can get you in all kinds of sticky messes...as Tansy learns in Treacle and Treason, my latest Tale from the Coffin in The Edge series.

SUPER EASY TREACLE TOFFEE RECIPE HERE!

Remember, remember, the fifth of November. Gunpowder, treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.” She chanted the infamous rhyme while sneaking toward the basement made of legend; the ghost of the infamous betrayer himself had been spotted there on several occasions, and on the fifth of November, no less.

“Show yourself, Guy Fawkes,” she whispered.

“Miss, you’re trespassing.”

The main purpose of 5th of November is to celebrate the bringing down and capture of Guy Fawkes after his attempt at blowing up parliament failed. We build a fake guy and throw him on top of a bonfire to watch him burn. During which, lots of fireworks and hand sparklers are enjoyed by all.

I'm sure the majority of Brits don't even think of Guy Fawkes during these celebrations, but I always did. Always wondered about the man behind the legend. Pondered if he really did it. About his story, or if he'd left a family behind. Even more so during 'penny for the guy' activities; similar tradition to trick or treat, only you drag your guy around (meant for the bonfire on 5th November) in a wheel barrow and go door to door asking for a penny for the guy. 

It's this wonderment that led to Estella sharing this Treacle and Treason story, a retelling of Britain's most infamous bad guy!

Ghostly, sexy, and romantic. That's how I saw his tale. And tragic. A not so modern day tale of Romeo and Juliet.

She spun and spat out her rehearsed excuse. “I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, so sorry.” But during her imaginary practice run, not once had she bumped into a sexpot.

Not one dressed up as Guy himself, anyway. Very authentic, with the hat and shoe buckles. The works; even had a curled-up moustache. He looked like he’d stepped out of a history book or off the cover of one of her romance books. Gorgeous. Any minute, she expected him to pop the buttons off his shirt and show his manly six-pack. Oh yeah, baby. She could work with that.

“My mistake, miss. I didn’t know it was you.” He took his hat off and brought it to his chest for an exaggerated bow. All the while, he stared at her with eyes aglint with mischief. Perfect, because that’s what Tansy looked for in a man.

“Do I know you? Oh my gosh, your outfit is so cool,” She fell over her own words in a scramble not to ask him out to dinner or for a shag before he’d even introduced himself. “Did you get it custom made for tonight?”

“We’re not strangers. We’ve sipped tea together. Strolled gardens. Rolled in the hay. Remember? Guy Fawkes? Am I missing a vital sign here? Did I misread your intentions? Are you not ready to start a new life in the Netherlands? To take care of your husband and bear my children?” He moved in close, his breath skimming her lips, and claimed her mouth. His passion overwhelmed her; suffocating, intoxicating. Can’t breathe.

Tansy pulled back to pinch her cheeks. Was this Guy for real? Or a delightful dream? Maybe she’d fallen while running down the alley. Bumped her head? Or it could be those guys at the bank. Perhaps they followed her to play a prank? Well,

fine. She could play along. Never let it be said she was a stick in the mud. “Won’t making those children be fun?” She puckered up and blew him a kiss.

He met her lips with his again, and this time the kiss was soft and more considerate. Loving.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pressed his body against hers. She came over peculiar. Lights danced in her sight. She swayed. A floral scent hit her, and she drifted to a sweet, standing slumber for a second. When she came to, she felt different. 

WARNING: THEY CONTAIN HOT SEX SCENES, A CRASS VAMPIRE AND ZOMBIE STORY TELLERS, AND A DARK, GHOSTLY SHORT STORY

Tales from the Coffin stories are erotica ghost type stories, and do not always (actually barely ever) have happy ever afters. These stories are quite different from my romance books.

BUYLINKS: http://www.joannekenrick.com/p/books.html

AUTHOR BIO: Born n bred Brit, JoAnne Kenrick grew up in a wee sea-side town in North Wales and has enjoyed a variety of vocations such as holistic healer, window dresser, and ghost tour guide. Having lived in Wales, England, and Scotland with her dear family, she finally escaped the dull British summers to reside in sunny Australia. After two years, they moved to the States where she endured three harsh winters in Minnesota. She now lives in North Carolina with her husband, two kids and two puddy cats. When they aren't demanding her attention, or jumping on her head, she strums away on the keys of her little laptop, creating worlds and adventures she could only ever dream of. Come across the pond and faraway....with JoAnne Kenrick! Get exclusive sneak peeks at her new and upcoming releases by signing up to her quarterly newsletter here: http://tinyletter.com/joannekenrick

Dead Romantic

by JoAnne Kenrick

Dead Romantic, that's how one reader described Tales from the Coffin series. And yes, she meant it as a pun. And I couldn't be more thrilled with that 'tag', because that's exactly the feeling I set out to create when Estella decided to invade my computer with her dark paranormal tales and her own stories of woe. Yes, she may be a bitter, twisted old vampire who was stood up at the altar by Dracula. She may be still wearing her wedding dress from her almost married status, and she may spend her nights scoffing at anything male with her zombie lover and sometimes faithful servant, Lucy Rot. But let's face it. You know it. I know it. Estella is bound for love...the question is, when and where will she find it?

What's that you say? You didn't think Estella had it in her to move past Dracula, did you? To be honest, neither did I. Hey, maybe she won't be able to. It is her telling these stories, ya know. She has complete power over what does or doesn't happen.

I was certain this series would not be paranormal romance, just paranormal. And very twisted and smexy.

But it seems every time I visit Estella in her boudoir, more of her heart is revealed. She is a tough cookie to crack, but I think I know just the man...or woman...for the job. So if it's romance you want, looks like you've got it. Read the series in order to follow Estella, Lucy, and The Cruncher's love story.  Or, if you're in the mood for a quick, twisted paranormal fix that's smexy hawt...then pick one and dive in. But be warned, Estella and Lucy may be beautiful creatures of the night, but they do bite so keep those hands in!

Indulge Your Book Fetish!

NEW RELEASE BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY, Tales from the Coffin book 3

The Bone Cruncher hasn't visited in a while, and Estella thinks it’s something she did. Misery loves company, but she loves food more. Putting on a smile, she musters up an erotic story. But can she make it to the end of the tale without comfort eating? 

To onlookers, Seren lived the high life in London with her orchestra conductor of a husband. She had a major case of unrequited love for her best friend, though, so their relationship was doomed from the beginning. Divorce papers served, it’s time for her to go back to her home town on the England-Wales border and face the music.

Owen, now a postman of their little market town, is thrilled to see Seren when he shows up at her doorstep with mail. It’s not long before they’re releasing their pent up lust and love for each other. Within that mail, though, are letters addressed to Seren’s parents. They’re from her ex and hold a truth Seren is too fearful to face. Even with Owen by her side.

For buylinks, trailers and more.

www.joannekenrick.com

Tales from the Coffin series, in order

Strange and Beautiful - out now

All the Pretty Faces - out now

Bittersweet Symphony – out now

Treacle and Treason releases October 26^th: 

It’s Bonfire Night, but the fireworks in Estella’s boudoir are more impressive than any rocket or sparkler.  She has more pressing things on her mind than trivial traditions like burning the guy and crunching her canines on treacle toffee. A spot of unrequited love, and her little deady bear’s rotting body. 

What better way to distract herself than to entertain you with a ghostly retelling of the infamous Guy Fawkes and the Fifth of November legend. 

 FOR MORE ABOUT TALES FROM THE COFFIN VISIT:http://talesfromthecoffin.blogspot.com

Also watch out for Threesome Sweetness, coming soon – Irish Kisses book 3. 

  a Rafflecopter giveaway

Ghost Hunter Sandwich, Anyone? Tales from the Coffin. TAGS

by JoAnne Kenrick

Are you ready for Estella and Lucy? Because I have a feeling they are more than ready for you!

22nd May marked the date when book one, Strange and Beautiful, was set loose in ebook stores across the world, and all were introduced to the snarky zombie and the scarcastic vampire who hide in the basement of their home in the dead center of Britain's most haunted city; York, England.

Now it's time for another installment of the goings on in the world of Estella, Vampire Queen of the Rejected and Lucy Rot her zombie lover and sometimes-faithful lacky.

29 June marks the date when Tales from the Coffin book two releases. As per Decadent Publishing's awesomeness, it will be available in most ebook stores....

And this will be the release of my very first menage story. I can hear my mum's cry of shame all the way from across the pond ;) Sorry, Mum! But this story had to be written. Estella made me do it. And Lucy twisted my arm.

Tales from the Coffin is a series with a story within a story. In each edition,  we follow the adventures of Estella and Lucy--The Bone Cruncher will often make a mysterious appearance, too. The main story visited in each book is building toward a HEA, and the story within the story is a short erotica as told by either Lucy or Estella. As they've both been burned by love, you can bet neither story will be all champers and wedding bells. Often, these books can gruesome and just plain old snark and smexy. I class them as horror/urban fantasy/never afters.

So if you're looking for a change in the paranormal romance pace, all wrapped in a sexy-snarky little package, Tales of the Coffin is for you!

Book Two, All the Pretty Faces (did I tell you this was my first menage story yet? if not, well...this is my first menage story!) is told by Estella and features three TV ghost hunters who find things go BUMP in more ways than one when the show is over, and their ghostly tale is interwoven into Estella and Lucy's world. I feel I should warn; not only is this a super smutty story, but it's also pretty gross. No spoilers, but it's the first time I ever cringed while writing a scene, and feared for the characters I'd created. One of which will be back in book 5.Let's leave it at that. Estella is a bad influence ;)

BUYLINKS

BOOK TWO, All the Pretty Faces

Estella is on edge. Why? The Bone Cruncher wants to collect his debt early. What's a girl to do? Get her zombie lover to do her dirty work for her of course, while she entertains you with tea and a ghost hunter sandwich....

MidNight, a paranormal magazine show, transformed Lindsay from a jittery legal assistant into an almost famous TV presenter. Ghost hunting was the last job Lindsay ever expected to see herself doing, or loving. Best of all, the show had helped her face fears; the dark, and her own shadow. If only she could conquer Walker, too, her long time just-good-friends buddy.When her co-host Debra puts an offer of a threesome on the table after a live filming at York Castle Prison, Lindsay takes it into careful consideration. A menage with Walker and her nemesis will complete her confidence trip. But when things start going bump in the night, will three be a crowd?

WANT TO LEARN MORE? Tales from the Coffin NEWS over on Paranormal Romantics [inspiration for how I went to the dark side with this series] and Pop Culture Divas [full excerpt from Strange and Beautiful]

FOR AUDIO READING, EXCERPT, AND TRAILER CLICK HERE

COMING SOON

Tentative Release: August 2012

& Book Four, Treacle and Treason

a Guy Fawkes special due for release October 26th

Here's the series trailer AND the Coffin WIDGET. Lots of things to click on, so enjoy exploring!! http://talesfromthecoffin.blogspot.com

  

Tea, Scones, and Smut

by JoAnne Kenrick


Of all the places in all the world, the last place I'd wanna end up is at Estella's for tea and scones. Her reputation exceeds her, yet folks still wander into that basement with hopes of being entertained.


Honestly, she may give good story and live in the creepiest, oldest house on the block, but would you really venture down those stairs into a vampire's lair for an erotic tale and possibly a tour of her historical home?


Okay, so she lives in York Cemetery house which sit on ley lines. I can understand why ghost hunters would be curious to explore that proptery. Maybe. Or why historians would want to get a load of the original moldings and woodwork. Maybe tourists are itching to have photographs of themselves in a creepy house which seems to have the same housekeeper as The Adam's Family judging by the cobwebs and dust.

But all sorts of folks find themselves in her basement for an erotic tale seemingly a cross between Twilight Zone, Tales from the Crypt and the Red Shoe Diaries. I'll tell you a little secret. Estella has powers. She's not just Dracula's rejected bride hung up on her runaway groom, or a snarky vampire with only food and Lucy Rot, the zombie--her sometimes-faithful lover--on her mind. She's psychic and she knows it. Sexy, too.


Her little deady bear, Lucy, is excellent at bringing home the bacon. And from time to time, the unwilling dinner guest enjoys a really smutty story. Hey, at least they die happy. That's probably the only happy ever after you'll find in these stories...individually. As a whole, though you'll find they make up quite the romantic little story. You see, Estella and Lucy don't just introduce the Edge stories in Tales from the Coffin, they have a story of their own, and within each book, their story progresses.


So what do you say...up for something different? Two stories in one? Come and get to know my two favorite but most feared characters ever...Estella and Lucy. But I must warn you, Lucy makes delightful finger sandwiches. Just saying. Can you count to ten?


I've shared lots of Estella and Lucy snippets, so it's about time I shared one from the story they tell in Strange and Beautiful. I've been told to keep it clean, so this is the only snippet I could use. The opening. Mwahahaha. Yeah, this is one naughty story. Estella might be an evil vampire with no pause for morality, but she an half knows how to tell da smut! Well, actually, so does Lucy...because this is her story of how she became a zombie.


(c) JoAnne Kenrick, Strange and Beautiful - Tales from the Coffin book one

 I always show up for dates on time, and it infuriates me when others don’t. Get a watch—set an alarm, anything—because it’s impolite to be late. My doctor is the only person I have ever forgiven for this terrible faux pas. I waited around for him. Had a swollen pussy and was dying for his touch. All my sensibility had flown two sheets to the wind. My head, too. Must have had three, maybe four glasses of cheap plonk while waiting. Just to break the ice. I suspected he was going off me. I mean, we’d been dating for a month and still no action. What was that about?

Pissed, and pissy at the bastard’s lateness, I decided to pull out some whacky- a-doodle-doo of a magic book I’d bought as a gag gift and forgot to deliver. Fancy myself as a bit of a charmed one. Mind you, if that were the case, I could just call for my man and he’d orb in. My very own sparkly hero.

Reality check. Not going to happen.

I flicked through the first few pages of the pink paperback. Nothing interesting. Nothing connected to sex, anyway. Then I saw it. The perfect spell to try. Make your man worship the ground you walk on. Excitement rushed through me like a rogue roller coaster set for disaster. Right there. That was the moment I should have cut my losses and sobered up.

Instead, I finished the bottle of wine and chanted a few words. Chris stopped by an hour later. I’d run out of alcoholic lubrication and could walk in a straight line again, which meant I had sobered up for McSexy’s apology. Is it lame I called him that? Whatever. Anyway, he made an excuse about helping some woman called Lizzie move into a cottage. I think I took in most of what he said—hard to focus on anything when biceps like his are right in your face. Worse when they’re squeezed into such a tight shirt. He flicked his hair from his face and gave me the puppy-dog look with his coffee-colored eyes. I stood to ask him to leave.

BLURB

Estella, Vampire Queen of the Rejected, is sick of men. Or so she would have you think. Ditched at the altar by Dracula himself, she'd rather spend her days with what she now believes to be the more faithful gender. Plagued by a Haversham complex, she gets her kicks by luring prey into her decrepit house with promises of erotic tales...but mind your manners, and fingers, because she bites.

Lucy Rotterdayne—a zombie better known as Lucy Rot—is Estella's sometimes-faithful subject and lover. Although why she hangs around to be ridiculed and taunted by a bitter vampire, she has no idea. Perhaps the answer is rooted the story of how she was zombified by a doctor who is simply masterful with his hands?

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