12 September 2012

A light look at BDSM Subs



by Desiree Holt 
BDSM is probably the most misunderstood sexual lifestyle of any others, mostly because people don’t really know what drives the people who live it. They might only enjoy it in the bedroom or it might permeate their entire life but either way it is made up of all different kinds of people with varying personalities. Writing about it has given me a broad look into the different kinds off personalities, and those who are really subs or doms and those who participate because of other reasons. Here’s a light look at some different kinds of subs, a change from the heavy detail I get into in my books. Hope you enjoy it. 
THE PLEASE PITY ME SUB: She (or he) leads a live that she feels is cursed, not blessed. Something is always going wrong and no, none of it is her fault. Every one of her Doms is flawed. They chose her for the wrong reasons. All because the perfect Master is missing. If only he or she could that perfect master life would be good. No more mistakes, no more screwing up. Start living up to her potential–whatever that is.
Hint to sub: Try Master-R-Us. 
THE DO IT TO ME SUB: “Beat me, beat me” could be the mantra of this sub. And they don’t care who is doing the beating or flogging. Frequently misbehaving on purpose, this sub craves the feel of the lash or the flogger. This “sub” just wants to be beaten. It doesn’t really matter by who. Searching for the perfect partner this sub wanders bondage clubs and might as well be wearing a sign that says “Beat Me.”
Hint to sub: Start carrying your own flogger, just in case. 
THE BARBIE-DOLL SUB: Or maybe Ken. This sub is just in it for the look–the leather, the boots, even the temporary collar or cuffs. He or she might as well have a tattoo saying “I’m a sub, come and get me.” They’re afraid of the whip, and have never seen a clamp in their lives. They spend their paychecks on bondage fashions and love to visit clubs where they can posture.
Hint: Take off your clothes and let us see the real you. 
THE HE CAUSED ME PAIN SUB: These are among my favorites to point fingers at. They rush out to play with a master they might have just met online, maybe in some secluded cabin or gothic mansion or just your normal. Everyday resident with a soundproof dungeon. There’s no negotiation, no discussion of safe words because the sub just wants to “do it.” After a full sessions with restraints, clamps and punishment the sub decides the master is a threat to society and can’t wait to spread the word about him.
Hint to sub: Sell your computer. 
THE WHERE-CAN-I-FIND-A-REAL-MAN SUB: After burning her way through the usual singles bars and meat factories and co-ed health clubs and every other hookup spot, she decided a Dom would be the perfect answer for her. This “sub”, after exhausting all her singles bar and health club meeting places, decides that the D/s world would be a good place to meet a *man*. She really has no interest in D/s, she just wants a “real man.” Of course after her first session she suddenly loses all interest in sex of any kind.
Hint to sub: Have a pity party with the Poor Me sub. 
THE “I’M GIVING YOU THE GREATEST GIFT” SUB: SUBMISSION IS THE GREATEST GIFT Submissive. This submissive is starry-eyed and naïve, swooning at the mere thought of a dom, any dom, asking to pass the salt. They declare there is no better way to love than through submission, and that d/s is a “better” and “higher” manner of loving than anything a silly old vanilla person might do. They lives on an emotional roller-coaster, sentimental enough to cry when seeing a long-distance phone company commercial.And  reminding the master too frequently what a great gift submission is.
Hint to sub:
While it may be more blessed to give than receive, that only works when you don’t make yourself a pain in the ass. 
So what’s your favorite kind of sub? What do you like? Dislike? Let me know here and you might win a copy of one of my Decadent Publishing books! 
And come see me at www.desireeholt.com and sign up for my mailing list. 

4 comments:

  1. Hilarious, Desiree!

    My favorite kind of sub (and I'm not joking here) is the Surprised Sub. She never had any interest in D/s, never expected to be turned on by a spanking or being ordered around, but discovers that it's the most fulfilling experience she has ever had.

    Then there's the Secret Sub. Or maybe we should call her the Shy Sub. She has harbored kinky fantasies all her life, but never dared share them with anyone or act on them. It takes an insightful Dom to intuit her needs and encourage her to act on her fantasies.

    I've written quite a few of both kinds LOL.

    Great post!

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  2. LOL. I loved reading this post. As a new writer and wanting to dip my toe in the BDSM genre, I found this very helpful. I agree with Lisabet. My fave kind of sub is the secret and shy sub. She loves kink but is afraid to let the men in her life know it. The ending result leaves her unfulfilled, in more ways than one.

    Also, the surprise sub is a favorite. She meets a man who dominates her in the bedroom and this lightbulb goes off--HELLO, what the hell was that?! and More, please!

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  3. Hi Desiree,

    I'm still chuckling. Nice, very nice, in a very silly way.

    My favorite sub is the on again off again sub. One minute she thinks she's submissive and gives herself to a master willingly, loves every second of their time together, gets off on all the kink they share and screams for more. The next, she's all woman's lib and aghast at any woman who would let a man rule her world. She goes back and forth, confusing not only herself, her dom, but anyone reading the book.

    Great post, Des!

    Hugs
    Jude

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  4. Funny post, Desiree.

    I have to admit I don't understand the desire to be hit. I didn't enjoy being spanked as a child and I sure as hell wouldn't want anyone spanking me now.

    Janice~

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